She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
