I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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