your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Damn victory sex feels great
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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