Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize