Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
