We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize