i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
