Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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