i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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