yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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