hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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