just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
