Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
When are your genitals available?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
