Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it glows. i had to have it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
