Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
where are you?
Hypothermia
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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