How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
