Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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