she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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