I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
