just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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