I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
