thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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