During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
