Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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