Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
