Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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