i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
