Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
