Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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