your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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