she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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