how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
