We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
