I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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