Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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