so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
