If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We need to get me chipped asap
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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