I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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