I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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