And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
