Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When did angry sex become our thing?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
