she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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