oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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