May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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