I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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