margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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