I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
