New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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