TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
