Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
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But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
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I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.