Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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