Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
