how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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