You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
