you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
