the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Randomize
