dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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