Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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