i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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