You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
